wednesday, september 10, 2015
God I need a hug now, it hurts so much more than the first time, whoever that is up above, thanks for showing me the light and guiding me. I was honestly walking nowhere with my love life, I didn't know where I was going. All I did was walking blindly into the dark space, going deeper each and everyday. I wasn't sure what I needed to do or which choice to make, I merely and foolishly lying to myself and enjoying the fake and superficial moments. However, I did enjoy every moment from the deepest point of my heart. Every moment was so precious, the walks in Watson's Bay, I had the most fun I could ever imagine. Without money, without cars or fame, I looked into the eyes of the love of my life, watching the sunset. I could never forget that moment, I looked at the married couple's across the lighthouse, and I looked at her. I was so confident I could marry this girl sitting down on the cliff above the waves. What would she look like with that wedding gown on, and most importantly what will I look like, with suits and tie on, will I think to myself at that point of time to ask myself did I make the absolute correct choice. But sadly, none of these will happen in future any more. It's not the cheating that hurts me, it's the thought of losing all these possibilities then could really one day happen to us. Perhaps it was my fault, I failed, as a lover, as a friend, most importantly as a human being. And I will never blame you god, I know you're watching. You saw me took that choice, I deserved it. I picked this path, and as forgiving and kind that you are, it broke your heart to see me like this. And through all that, you dropped this hint for me to reconsider my choice again. Thank you, I've learnt a lot from your guidance, I've learnt forgiveness, opening up, being more magnanimous, learnt to be happy, positive and most importantly enjoy this life that you presented to me. Without a second thought I knew that I was able to forgive her, it was the ultimatum, no doubts about it. Instead of helping me so much, I hope you can help her as well. Save her from all that she's going through, the confusion and give her confidence in herself. So that she will able to enjoy life to the fullest as well. I wish her all the best in life, and give her all my blessings as much as how it hurts. Even though that we are going to go on separate ways, at least I know that she is happy, and I hope that she really is. I did my part staying with her through the tough times, I don't wish for her to do the same, but at least my conscious is clearer now. She was right after all, she made smart choice to leave a boy like me, I'm too torn up to be a good husband any ways. I shall blame no one but myself, it's time for me to grow up, man up, and move on. If we shall meet again in the next life if that is, I swear to all the gods in heavens that I'll never screw up such a beautiful and blissful relationship again. I hope to see whoever she ends up with and wish her and her husband a blissful marriage, because he became the guy that I wanted to be my whole life. He will enjoy spending all the joyful moments that I can ever imagine. That's all I have for tonight, perhaps after all these I'll delete this blog completely. Afterall, the one and only audience is not coming back here ever again. Goodnights.
wednesday, april 08, 2015
If there's a wish, I could travel back in time for 10secs just to see how having fun with my dad looks like. By the beach, or the green grass, no regrets.
monday, april 05, 2015
Sometimes the only people that gives a shit about you, is yourself.
thursday, march 19, 2015
thursday, march 19, 2015
thursday, march 19, 2015
thursday, march 19, 2015
guitar rules
The guitarist.
MY NAME: Eugene Lua B'DAE: 29/10/1992 PS: i have been on earth for 16 yrs now... SCHOOL: Marsiling Sec LOVES:my 4m1 jinan brothers my 4m2 classmates my 4m3,4m4,4m5 frens MUSIC<3<3<3 bball HATES:NOTHING TO HATE ABOUT... BE HAPPY LOR...
other guitarist
Agnesguitarist chats
guitar past
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